Adrift

You know how sometimes you feel like you're just floating through life? Like you can see everything happening but you don't feel like you are physically a part of any of the action? Kinda like you're watching your life in a series of stills through a projector. Thats pretty much the opposite of how I feel right now. Life moves, it moves fast, a whole whole lot faster than you would ever imagine. Its like one day you are 18 years old, and it seems like you're just a kid, like you're doing you're own thing and you don't really have a worry in the world except who you're gonna hang out with this weekend, then you turn 19 and suddenly, magically you're an adult.

All of the sudden I find my self living alone in fayetteville(not my plan), being a fully time student, being a part time nanny, taking advantage of ministry opportunities, and barely having enough hours in a day to eat and do homework, let alone have a life. Its so odd, it's definitely not the way that I had imagined my sophomore year of college starting, then again my life has never....EVER, followed the rough outline that I had plotted in my over active mind.

But heres the weird thing ladies and gentlemen...i love it. Every single day of my life is filled with purpose and intentionality and it absolutely blows my friggin mind! I mean who knew that I could cram so much life and activity into one day?!?! Its like God said "hey, today I am initiating you into the world of adulthood" and it happened. It almost scares me how much I love being old and independent. Every week I get to purposefully see the most important people in my life, I get to see students that I adore and get to hear about their lives and what Christ is doing in and through them. I get to see my 3 favorite kids in the whole world every day and I get to love on them and encourage them and hear about life and school and friends....and i LOVE it. I get to lead my cell group, which means more to me than anything, and lead some adorable, hilarious, precious third graders. I get to disciple some of my girls and teach and learn and listen and enjoy every moment i have with them because they'll be all grown up and off to college before I know it. I go to class and learn and grow. I go to CRU where for a solid hour and a half I just get to sit and soak up all the love of Jesus that I can, I get to simply worship and be fed and just enjoy Jesus, and I love it, I need it. I get to see old friends and become a part of their lives again and I get to hang out with new friends and be a light on my campus. I get to follow God's calling for my day, everyday. I get to see one of my role models raise her kids and interact with them on a daily basis. God is just training me so much in so many different ways for the things He has planned for my future. He is answering prayer left and right and forcing me to rely on Him in a completely new way, and I love it.

I am just so thankful for the way that God is just filling me and filling me and filling me and then letting that overflow pour out into the lives of others. I am just so wonderfully content with what God has given me for today, and all I'm doing is living day to day. try it.

God is huge and perfect and gracious and loving and beautiful, so know Him, love Him, respond to Him, be enchanted by His beauty, be captivated by His grace, marvel at His perfection.

Roger that.