Tonight i need to blog about a few of my best friends.
and when i say best friends i actually mean kindred spirits.
Karly Kenyon, Meredith Hawkins, and Meredith Dunn.
Over the course of a long eventful summer at New Life Ranch i was honored with the opportunity to form a close bond with these girls and lets just say that Jesus was in control of our friendships.
i wanted to take this chance to tell my world of 8 followers about these girls and in turn remind myself of how truly blessed i am that the Lord would put such amazing people into my life.
1. Karly Kenyon. oh boy. this girl kind of like an explosion of glitter. it reflects light(in her case the light of Jesus) and it is absolutely contagious. like glitter she sticks to people and even after you've washed your hair 1,000,000 times you still find pieces of her...this is just a really weird way of saying that she makes a lasting impact and is in no way easily forgotten. also like glitter she is beautiful and inspiring, she takes things from boring and ordinary to exciting and shiny. i have never heard anyone talk about Jesus so passionately or joyfully. she is contagious. i got to be co's with karly the last week of camp and i have never been so delighted by someone's joy in simply living. in finding beauty in every single moment. she is truly something. she is also far away...Greenville, IL. my heart longs to sit with her and drink coffee and listen to Josh Garrels and talk about Jesus and the ocean and life. i miss her dearly and with my entire heart(every last piece). i can't tell Karly's future but i can tell you one thing, Jesus is gonna change the world through this girl...even if its only in one person's life. the world will still look different because she was a part of it. karly, it was with you that i embrace the notion that Jesus was a weirdo and i delight in that every single day. Jesus was weird. is that not the greatest thing you've ever heard? be different, cause Jesus sure as heck was. thanks for being weird with me karly.
2. Meredith Hawkins..............honestly. truly. purely. my inspiration. i'm being completely sincere when i write that mere hawk is just that, she is the one who inspires me to be more than myself. she pushes me more than anyone i know to stretch beyond my realm of comfort and expectation and set my sights on something bigger. something greater. something completely impossible without divine intervention. i don't think that she even knows that. she challenges me to dream bigger than i've ever allowed myself, bigger than i've ever been confident too. she is the most incredible encourager i've ever met and the most honest girl in the world. she recognizes the beauty in the chaos of our everyday lives and thanks God for her shortcomings. what? she is one of the most extraordinary people i know. Mere is a dreamer and a believer. i think that mere one of the few people i've ever met that fully embodies the idea of being able to be whatever you set your mind too. for a long time i have hidden behind the notion that i am simply not smart enough to be anything other than mediocre, i was willing to settle for average and leave good enough alone. meredith challenged that in me without even trying. seeing her freedom in dreams and aspirations made me realize that maybe the Lord wants to use me for more than my plans were allowing Him to. Because of Meredith Hawkins i have recognized a dream within myself that is bigger than anything i could have ever recognized without her. she is also too far away... Richmond, Virginia...a.k.a 1,142 miles away. worst. but even from afar i can still hear her voice in my head, pushing me daily to strive for more.
3. last but not even close to least: meredith dunn. i have almost no words except to say that, in short, meredith dunn gets me like no one else on this planet gets me. honestly. this girl is seriously my soul sister, i don't think anyone has ever understood my heart and thought process like her. when i think of meredith dunn 2,000 different things pop into my mind. best friends. creepy campers. braums. cafe on broadway. just to name a few. we may not have a long history of friendship but it certainly is a full history. mere is one of the boldest and most passionate people i know. she caught onto Jesus like never before this summer and ever since that day she has truly been a new creation. she is amazing. i have so joyful gotten to watch her grow in passion and devotion to the Holy Spirit and it is so beautiful. she inspires me to love Jesus more everyday and live for Him alone everyday. i think that i love meredith so much because when she talks about how much she loves Jesus and how she wants to be used by Him all i can think is "i wanna come too"(i can really say that for all these girls) i just love the way that mere communicates her heart because i can hear my heart too. only i feel that her heart is more bold and willing to love than mine is and that challenges me in so many good ways. in so many ways i want to be like meredith dunn. plus she is the most humble person i know because i don't think she gets how great she is, but thats the beauty. she's not quite as far away...but its still too far. Stillwater, Oklahoma. go pokes. go jokes. sports.
i wish i was joyful like karly.
i wish i was a dreamer like mere hawk.
i wish i was bold like mere.
this is why they are my best friends. i see Jesus through them and as a result am pushed to be more like Him.
karly, mere hawk, mere. thank you. for being yourselves. thank you for being the face of Jesus in my life. i miss you, but in the wise words of meredith hawk "wherever we are, we are together."
-ab
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
pilot me.
today i had lunch with the wonderful windy hall, who has recently started discipling me. It was hands down the most encouraging hour and a half of my semester, it was so great to sit down with someone who was willing to just listen and hear my heart and fears and joys and thoughts. She is truly amazing and i am beyond blessed to be able to learn from her and have her pour into me, i can't wait to get to spend time with her and her family and learn from her life.
Anyway, today as we were talking i had told her about my fears of singleness, not necessarily the fear of always being single, but the fear that the Lord would make me love singleness and as a result of that i would remain single for the rest of my years. now this may sound silly to whoever is reading, considering that i am a mere 20 years old and at this point my world remains pretty small in the scope of the rest of life, but still the struggle persists and i continue to fear the wild unknown. it is in this area of my life that i feel i have the least control, but God's got me right where He wants me.
As i was telling windy this i began to feel that tiny tinge of insecurity, thinking "what if she looks at me and says, 'why are you worrying about this? you're a kid, deal with it'" i also thought, maybe she'll just shoot out some statistic about how many people actually stay single their whole lives and tell me to just wait, and that it would happen someday...while all these things would be completely accurate for her to tell me it still wouldn't change the fact that today, it's really hard.
but did she say any of those things? no. what she did say was one of the most beautiful nuggets of truth and wisdom that i have ever heard.
She said to me, "the truth that i used to cling to in the same situation is the verse that says that no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly, meaning that if i didn't have it, it was because it wasn't good for me at that point of my life"...oh. my. gosh.
think about that in relation to God's perfection. i get so caught up in thinking about what I THINK would be "good" for me, or what i "need", but its like my mom always says, "the One who knows you best, loves you most" He loves me so much and knows me so well that even when i think that a good thing would be good for me, He knows better. He promises that He won't withhold any good thing, so if i don't have something that i think i want its because its not good for me...even if it has the potential to be good. does that make sense? cause it does to me. and even though it might not strike you as some groundbreaking, life changing truth, it completely rewires my thinking. this removes fear. it removes pressure. it removes expectations. i don't ask God to give me pride and lust, because those are things that aren't good for me, so He withholds them, and right now He is also withholding something that my heart really desires, and it is because He is good and will only give me what is good for me. Today singleness is good for me, and until relationship is good for me, i no longer desire it.
God is really something. This adventure of life is always changing. Today i want to walk boldly and fearlessly, not because i have it all figured out, but because He is grasping my hand, and He already knows the ending. He is good. He's not safe, but He's good.
-content.
Anyway, today as we were talking i had told her about my fears of singleness, not necessarily the fear of always being single, but the fear that the Lord would make me love singleness and as a result of that i would remain single for the rest of my years. now this may sound silly to whoever is reading, considering that i am a mere 20 years old and at this point my world remains pretty small in the scope of the rest of life, but still the struggle persists and i continue to fear the wild unknown. it is in this area of my life that i feel i have the least control, but God's got me right where He wants me.
As i was telling windy this i began to feel that tiny tinge of insecurity, thinking "what if she looks at me and says, 'why are you worrying about this? you're a kid, deal with it'" i also thought, maybe she'll just shoot out some statistic about how many people actually stay single their whole lives and tell me to just wait, and that it would happen someday...while all these things would be completely accurate for her to tell me it still wouldn't change the fact that today, it's really hard.
but did she say any of those things? no. what she did say was one of the most beautiful nuggets of truth and wisdom that i have ever heard.
She said to me, "the truth that i used to cling to in the same situation is the verse that says that no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly, meaning that if i didn't have it, it was because it wasn't good for me at that point of my life"...oh. my. gosh.
think about that in relation to God's perfection. i get so caught up in thinking about what I THINK would be "good" for me, or what i "need", but its like my mom always says, "the One who knows you best, loves you most" He loves me so much and knows me so well that even when i think that a good thing would be good for me, He knows better. He promises that He won't withhold any good thing, so if i don't have something that i think i want its because its not good for me...even if it has the potential to be good. does that make sense? cause it does to me. and even though it might not strike you as some groundbreaking, life changing truth, it completely rewires my thinking. this removes fear. it removes pressure. it removes expectations. i don't ask God to give me pride and lust, because those are things that aren't good for me, so He withholds them, and right now He is also withholding something that my heart really desires, and it is because He is good and will only give me what is good for me. Today singleness is good for me, and until relationship is good for me, i no longer desire it.
God is really something. This adventure of life is always changing. Today i want to walk boldly and fearlessly, not because i have it all figured out, but because He is grasping my hand, and He already knows the ending. He is good. He's not safe, but He's good.
-content.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Twigs
today i feel like a twig.
when you think of a twig i'm sure that what you see is a sad excuse for a branch.
and to be honest thats kind of exactly what i feel like right now. sometimes i think as believers we have the expectation of being a mighty oak, deeply rooted in the Lord and making a a sizable impact on the scenery. But am i a mighty oak? no. i am a twig. a small branch. not even a branch. just a twig.
i feel like my impact on this earth is pretty small while i am in the midst of the red wood forest, where these giants around me are changing the world, and i am just working within my sphere of comfort.
But here's the deal with being a twig. twigs are really important.
In Genesis after the flood Noah sent out a dove and what did the dove bring back? a twig from an olive tree. That twig showed Noah that there was life beyond his ark, that God was allowing life to grow and the world to once again change. That twig gave hope of a future for him and his family outside of their ship.
my life as a twig means that even though i might not be the one leading the boat i still have the opportunity everyday to be a symbol of hope for a future. God can use me to show people that there is something outside of their bubble, life and growth and change and new.
Also, when you go camping what do you look for in the woods to help start your fire? you look for twigs. you can't start a fire what a massive log, you have to have a base before you can have a massive fire.
as a twig the Lord can use me as base, sure once the fire is going you completely forget the twig that helped start it, but i love Jesus and His kids and i don't want to be what people remember, i want them to see the fire, not the kindling. my purpose is to show the light and love of Jesus and nothing more, He can use me any day to start that fire in someone's life, and never be thought of again, that's how i want it.
Lastly when a bird is building its nest it doesn't try to break off an entire branch from a tree...thats just silly, a branch would make the worst nest, also the biggest nest. that's just silly. birds use twigs to build their nests. pieces of something bigger, that they can use amongst other twigs to create their home, to create the one thing that brings comfort and safety.
GOD make me a nest. make me a fire. make me a twig. i want to be the person that people know that they can count on and come to, and whom they know will share with them real, honest truth from Jesus, but thats all i want to be, i don't want anyone to need me, cause i want them to need Him. I don't need to make an individual impacton the scenery. blend me in. i don't want people to see me. i want them to look at the bigger picture and see Jesus. not abbie. exclude me from the equation. let me be a miniscule part of the whole.
so make me twig. and keep me that way.
a twig for Your glory.
-a twig.
when you think of a twig i'm sure that what you see is a sad excuse for a branch.
and to be honest thats kind of exactly what i feel like right now. sometimes i think as believers we have the expectation of being a mighty oak, deeply rooted in the Lord and making a a sizable impact on the scenery. But am i a mighty oak? no. i am a twig. a small branch. not even a branch. just a twig.
i feel like my impact on this earth is pretty small while i am in the midst of the red wood forest, where these giants around me are changing the world, and i am just working within my sphere of comfort.
But here's the deal with being a twig. twigs are really important.
In Genesis after the flood Noah sent out a dove and what did the dove bring back? a twig from an olive tree. That twig showed Noah that there was life beyond his ark, that God was allowing life to grow and the world to once again change. That twig gave hope of a future for him and his family outside of their ship.
my life as a twig means that even though i might not be the one leading the boat i still have the opportunity everyday to be a symbol of hope for a future. God can use me to show people that there is something outside of their bubble, life and growth and change and new.
Also, when you go camping what do you look for in the woods to help start your fire? you look for twigs. you can't start a fire what a massive log, you have to have a base before you can have a massive fire.
as a twig the Lord can use me as base, sure once the fire is going you completely forget the twig that helped start it, but i love Jesus and His kids and i don't want to be what people remember, i want them to see the fire, not the kindling. my purpose is to show the light and love of Jesus and nothing more, He can use me any day to start that fire in someone's life, and never be thought of again, that's how i want it.
Lastly when a bird is building its nest it doesn't try to break off an entire branch from a tree...thats just silly, a branch would make the worst nest, also the biggest nest. that's just silly. birds use twigs to build their nests. pieces of something bigger, that they can use amongst other twigs to create their home, to create the one thing that brings comfort and safety.
GOD make me a nest. make me a fire. make me a twig. i want to be the person that people know that they can count on and come to, and whom they know will share with them real, honest truth from Jesus, but thats all i want to be, i don't want anyone to need me, cause i want them to need Him. I don't need to make an individual impacton the scenery. blend me in. i don't want people to see me. i want them to look at the bigger picture and see Jesus. not abbie. exclude me from the equation. let me be a miniscule part of the whole.
so make me twig. and keep me that way.
a twig for Your glory.
-a twig.
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