i feel that contentment is one of the trickiest practices to learn.
our culture wires us from childhood to constantly be on the lookout for the next thing. i mean think about it, every single time i got a new barbie doll or polly pocket i was happy for about 24 hours, then boom, i was ready for a new one. it's been the same way with every cell phone i've had, every car, every article of clothing...basically it goes for everything, and that's truly sad.
i think the problem is that we have exceptionally short attention spans. we sincerely delight in a good thing for a very little while and then we get tired of it and are ready to move onto the next thing.
i've been thinking about this in conjunction with Jesus lately.
i think contentment is another huge area that the world should see how Christ in us makes us different. the world tells us to be discontent, tells us to constantly be seeking new, but Jesus says "love Me and only Me". He tells us to not be led astray by the passions of the flesh and i sincerely think that a passion of the flesh is for new, that's why adultery and covetousness are issues...at least that's the way that i see it. but really, Jesus first asks us to be content with Him, and honestly this should be easy because nothing can compare to the perfection of our Savior, but sin creeps in and makes it complicated. we start to replace an infinite God, with finite pleasures. how messed up are we? we loose sight of the most perfect gift that we could ever receive and replace Him with the broken gifts of a broken world, our eyes get distracted by the glitter that covers up the filth. i pray that the light of the cross be brighter than the shimmer of the world.
anyway, on the one hand we are constantly battling idolatry, yet we are simultaneously fighting against another beast that i believe fits into a completely different category. first we have discontentment in possession, the things we feel that we own which leads to the formation of idols, then we have discontentment in position...this is my struggle. i do well in an environment for a little while, but pretty darn quickly i'm over it and start itching for the next opportunity. now don't get me wrong i think that dreaming is vital, but at the same time taking advantage of the opportunity in which you have been placed is also vital, potentially more vital. personally i like change, i like the thrill of stepping into a new place where i don't know anyone and am free to begin anew, i always have. Here's the deal though, that's not always going to happen, sometimes we are going to be planted in one place for an unknown amount of time, for an unknown reason. For instance, right now i am at UofA and in fayetteville for a purpose that i would like to think is very specific and meaningful(and don't get me wrong i truly do love it), but at the same time my mind is currently in some sort of weird limbo. i want to be content and joyful where God has placed me, because i think that shows Him that i trust Him and desire to be where He wants me, but at the same time my heart is longing for adventure. big time. i want to pack up my car and drive my way into a new adventure. maybe the thing is that God is preparing my heart for a change, trying to detach me from NWA, or maybe its satan trying to weasel his way in and make me desire everything that's not here. Cause the truth is there are a lot of things in my path that i really love, a lot of things that tie my heart to the right now, like my family, my cell group, my dear friends, my crosslands, and NLR. Yet i keep catching my heart as it gazes longingly at the road map. i wish that it could focus on today, because heres my fear, that i will get so caught up in dreams that i miss out on the beauty of reality. cause it's happened before. i don't want to miss out on what Jesus is trying to teach me today. i know that He's got a plethora of things to teach me in NWA and i would hate to miss out on a single one...in fact, the art of being ok is probably one of those lessons, He is daily showing me that no matter where i am doesn't matter, as long i'm there with Him. that is the art of being ok folks. ii can always be ok, always be joyful, always be content, because of Jesus Christ. what beautiful truth. He is the one that makes my everyday worth living in. He is so good. the world will see Jesus through our ability to be ok no matter where we are, no matter what we have.
Jesus. today help me to be ok.
this world is not enough for me.
abbie.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
cold hands (warm heart)
that title has nothing to do with this post, it's just a line from a song that i really love by Brendan Benson, the song isn't really a happy one, but it always makes me happy...cause i'm a weirdo.
I thought i'd take a study break and let out some pent up creativity in the form of writing, yet i truly have zero inspiration, so i'll do a T5. those are fun.
T1: today is the last day of school before spring break, and i only have one more class before i'm done, unfortunately i have a test, but hey, that means i'll get out early right? so its a win-lose-win.
T2: I woke up at 6:30 this morning to make breakfast for some friends(we had family breakfast) and though i was horrified to get up at that time, i quickly realized that waking up at 6:30 is awesome. i feel so so good. i decided that i should always wake up that early. awesome.
T3: so heres a great thing. lately i've been really overwhelmed by my spanish class cause lets be honest, learning another language is difficult, especially since the english language is quickly becoming my specialty, i'm extremely english minded, and not wired for another language. Anyway i was sitting in class this morning and all of the sudden God hit me with a revelation that gave me a new love and appreciation for spanish. here it is: how amazing is it that there are more people that speak other languages than me, than there are that speak the same language as i do. and God speaks to all of them in their languages. He created every single language and dialect. what? that's so awesome and incredible. God is so stinking creative. i had never really thought about because i have a minimal appreciation for languages other than my own, but no God has shown me Himself in language, and because of that i kind of have a new love for it. He has been so faithful to help me get back into my love for learning and i am so thankful. If He made it, i should desire to know about it and love it.
T4: lately i have been thinking about my future husband, if the Lord has that in my future, and i've been thinking about how i'll probably never get married because i am the most boring human being on the planet. so folks if you know any banjo playing, bearded men who would be content to go to museums and watch documentaries and Tom Hanks films(specifically Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan films...but really i just like Tom a lot) and go on hikes and sit in coffee shops and read me books and take road trips for as long as we both shall live then send him my way. i'll snatch that boy before he realizes what he's getting himself into. my philosophy is never give them a chance to say no. but not really. maybe.
T5: music. that's another thing, kind of like language, that although i do not understand and am not wired for, i completely love. I love that God created people with brains that make and understand music. i've been listening to a lot of classical music lately and it just completely blows my mind to think about someone sitting down and composing a piece of music for an entire orchestra. i haven't even attempted any form music since i was in choir in the 8th grade, and i have never been able to read music, cause i just really don't understand it...kind of like math, but its always been something that has just amazed me and as i get older my appreciation of music, good music, has grown substantially. i love music. thank you Lord for music.
welp. that was fun.for me at least. glad i'm thinking deep today. blame it on the 5 hours of sleep.
-abbie
I thought i'd take a study break and let out some pent up creativity in the form of writing, yet i truly have zero inspiration, so i'll do a T5. those are fun.
T1: today is the last day of school before spring break, and i only have one more class before i'm done, unfortunately i have a test, but hey, that means i'll get out early right? so its a win-lose-win.
T2: I woke up at 6:30 this morning to make breakfast for some friends(we had family breakfast) and though i was horrified to get up at that time, i quickly realized that waking up at 6:30 is awesome. i feel so so good. i decided that i should always wake up that early. awesome.
T3: so heres a great thing. lately i've been really overwhelmed by my spanish class cause lets be honest, learning another language is difficult, especially since the english language is quickly becoming my specialty, i'm extremely english minded, and not wired for another language. Anyway i was sitting in class this morning and all of the sudden God hit me with a revelation that gave me a new love and appreciation for spanish. here it is: how amazing is it that there are more people that speak other languages than me, than there are that speak the same language as i do. and God speaks to all of them in their languages. He created every single language and dialect. what? that's so awesome and incredible. God is so stinking creative. i had never really thought about because i have a minimal appreciation for languages other than my own, but no God has shown me Himself in language, and because of that i kind of have a new love for it. He has been so faithful to help me get back into my love for learning and i am so thankful. If He made it, i should desire to know about it and love it.
T4: lately i have been thinking about my future husband, if the Lord has that in my future, and i've been thinking about how i'll probably never get married because i am the most boring human being on the planet. so folks if you know any banjo playing, bearded men who would be content to go to museums and watch documentaries and Tom Hanks films(specifically Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan films...but really i just like Tom a lot) and go on hikes and sit in coffee shops and read me books and take road trips for as long as we both shall live then send him my way. i'll snatch that boy before he realizes what he's getting himself into. my philosophy is never give them a chance to say no. but not really. maybe.
T5: music. that's another thing, kind of like language, that although i do not understand and am not wired for, i completely love. I love that God created people with brains that make and understand music. i've been listening to a lot of classical music lately and it just completely blows my mind to think about someone sitting down and composing a piece of music for an entire orchestra. i haven't even attempted any form music since i was in choir in the 8th grade, and i have never been able to read music, cause i just really don't understand it...kind of like math, but its always been something that has just amazed me and as i get older my appreciation of music, good music, has grown substantially. i love music. thank you Lord for music.
welp. that was fun.for me at least. glad i'm thinking deep today. blame it on the 5 hours of sleep.
-abbie
Thursday, March 8, 2012
BIG
So i was listening to U2 the other day, this song called Kite and it says:
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did
These words really got me thinking about the life that I lead as a follower of Jesus Christ.
the human tendency is to fear death, then all of the sudden you fall in love with Jesus and out of nowhere death becomes this kind of beautiful destiny. It turns into something that you no longer fear and suddenly, though it sounds odd, crave. Not in a morbid way, simply in the sense that you are so in love with Jesus and so out of love with this world that you naturally desire to be with Him, no fear in death.
This brings up something interesting though that i have basically never, ever thought about. I'm no longer afraid to die, but am i not afraid to live?
because if i'm really honest, i am afraid to live.
something i would truly rather not admit, but quite frankly it's true.
i mean really stop and think about what it means to truly LIVE for Christ. That's some heavy stuff.
it's so much easier to just sit back and tell people that i'm just along for the ride, going with the flow, that i'm simply letting opportunity come.
but what does that really mean? where is the risk in that?
the goal of life is not to arrive safely at death. i know that's cheesy and probably super cliche, but there is so much truth behind those simple words.
my life should not look safe. my life should not be lived in fear. It's just that there is so much joy in Jesus and so much joy in the anticipation of eternity, but this life can often times feel like such a daunting waiting time, such a period of patience and perseverance. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!
I mean come on! have i ever even read the Bible? John 10:10 says "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, I came that may have life and have it abundantly".
I've never really thought about it this way, but Jesus isn't just talking about having abundant life in eternity, or abundant life free from sin(which obviously it means both of those things), but Jesus came that we could live fully, every single day, not live safely. This life is big and full of so much opportunity. i feel so silly writing these words because as i write them i can't help but think that i must be so far from Christ to not have thought about these things yet. i just think that i'm scared of living because of my fear of failure. fear of being the reason that someone doesn't see Jesus, being the reason that someone stays stagnant or complacent in their or being the reason that someone perceives scripture wrong. sure these fears are valid, but them ruling me is sick. them ruling me is not even me living in Christ. it's me living in sin and letting the devil grab hold of my heart and my weakness and my pride. yikes, that cuts.
another fear is valuing the wrong things, putting my support and time into things that lack eternal value. but the truth is TONS of things can have eternal value, and no matter what we're doing can be and, if we're living in Christ, will be for the glory of the Father.
All i know is one thing. life is beautiful. think of the beauty in creation, across the board, that the Lord has created for us to delight in, to see Him in, to share with others, to serve Him with, and to steward back to Him. Gosh He has given us so much. So much to have fun with and take joy in and love. He's given us so many trails to run and mountains to climb, so many stars to gaze at and waves to splash in. So many tears to shed in laughter and pain, so many precious little hands to hold and many, many hands to let go of. we have battles to fight, some to win and some to lose, and some to lay to rest, because the journey was the important part, not the end result. we have sunrises and sunsets and dawns and midnights. we have 26 letters worth of endless possibilities. don't even get me going on all of the laughter that lies in this one wild and reckless life. lets laugh at the days to come and the one that we're in right now.
i guess this is nothing but a reminder to myself to take joy in this life. it's a gift, it's a delight, it's a once in a lifetime. Heaven will be beautiful and incomparable, but we get this one, limited time offer to bring the eternal to the present. I cannot wait for what's ahead, my heart dwells on eternity frequently, but the good and faithful servant that i want to be is one who does well with all that has been given. i don't want to miss out on this journey. i need to open my eyes to the opportunity that lies in every crevice of this life, instead of just looking for the chances that sparkle.
this is a lot of my thoughts the past two days.
dream big folks, for we have a BIG GOD.
-abbie.
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did
These words really got me thinking about the life that I lead as a follower of Jesus Christ.
the human tendency is to fear death, then all of the sudden you fall in love with Jesus and out of nowhere death becomes this kind of beautiful destiny. It turns into something that you no longer fear and suddenly, though it sounds odd, crave. Not in a morbid way, simply in the sense that you are so in love with Jesus and so out of love with this world that you naturally desire to be with Him, no fear in death.
This brings up something interesting though that i have basically never, ever thought about. I'm no longer afraid to die, but am i not afraid to live?
because if i'm really honest, i am afraid to live.
something i would truly rather not admit, but quite frankly it's true.
i mean really stop and think about what it means to truly LIVE for Christ. That's some heavy stuff.
it's so much easier to just sit back and tell people that i'm just along for the ride, going with the flow, that i'm simply letting opportunity come.
but what does that really mean? where is the risk in that?
the goal of life is not to arrive safely at death. i know that's cheesy and probably super cliche, but there is so much truth behind those simple words.
my life should not look safe. my life should not be lived in fear. It's just that there is so much joy in Jesus and so much joy in the anticipation of eternity, but this life can often times feel like such a daunting waiting time, such a period of patience and perseverance. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!
I mean come on! have i ever even read the Bible? John 10:10 says "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, I came that may have life and have it abundantly".
I've never really thought about it this way, but Jesus isn't just talking about having abundant life in eternity, or abundant life free from sin(which obviously it means both of those things), but Jesus came that we could live fully, every single day, not live safely. This life is big and full of so much opportunity. i feel so silly writing these words because as i write them i can't help but think that i must be so far from Christ to not have thought about these things yet. i just think that i'm scared of living because of my fear of failure. fear of being the reason that someone doesn't see Jesus, being the reason that someone stays stagnant or complacent in their or being the reason that someone perceives scripture wrong. sure these fears are valid, but them ruling me is sick. them ruling me is not even me living in Christ. it's me living in sin and letting the devil grab hold of my heart and my weakness and my pride. yikes, that cuts.
another fear is valuing the wrong things, putting my support and time into things that lack eternal value. but the truth is TONS of things can have eternal value, and no matter what we're doing can be and, if we're living in Christ, will be for the glory of the Father.
All i know is one thing. life is beautiful. think of the beauty in creation, across the board, that the Lord has created for us to delight in, to see Him in, to share with others, to serve Him with, and to steward back to Him. Gosh He has given us so much. So much to have fun with and take joy in and love. He's given us so many trails to run and mountains to climb, so many stars to gaze at and waves to splash in. So many tears to shed in laughter and pain, so many precious little hands to hold and many, many hands to let go of. we have battles to fight, some to win and some to lose, and some to lay to rest, because the journey was the important part, not the end result. we have sunrises and sunsets and dawns and midnights. we have 26 letters worth of endless possibilities. don't even get me going on all of the laughter that lies in this one wild and reckless life. lets laugh at the days to come and the one that we're in right now.
i guess this is nothing but a reminder to myself to take joy in this life. it's a gift, it's a delight, it's a once in a lifetime. Heaven will be beautiful and incomparable, but we get this one, limited time offer to bring the eternal to the present. I cannot wait for what's ahead, my heart dwells on eternity frequently, but the good and faithful servant that i want to be is one who does well with all that has been given. i don't want to miss out on this journey. i need to open my eyes to the opportunity that lies in every crevice of this life, instead of just looking for the chances that sparkle.
this is a lot of my thoughts the past two days.
dream big folks, for we have a BIG GOD.
-abbie.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
run with endurance.
as soon as i typed that title i became immediately insecure because i thought "people are going to see the title and expect something about working out and then think i'm a fraud because its not about that!", cause the truth is, i'm not writing about working out at all. the subject of this post comes down to a little yet difficult practice called perseverance.
Ever since i was in the 8th grade i have had stomach issues, for the most part they amounted to nothing more than daily stomach aches that we chalked up to stress and anxiety, but nonetheless they have persisted for the past 6 or 7 years. well, over the course of this past summer, which was spent joyfully at New Life Ranch, my stomach aches became worse and more frequent...aka every moment of every day. at the end of the summer i was itching to figure out what the problem was so i went to see my doctor and had some blood work done and lo and behold(on the morning of my 20th birthday) i was kindly informed that i have Celiac Disease. For those who aren't familiar with Celiac it is a genetic autoimmune disease. It basically means that my body cannot process gluten, which is a protein found in all forms of wheat, barley, rye, and triticale. And therefore i get sick when i eat gluten/wheat. this resulted in a very fast lifestyle change and honestly i never took a second to step back and process the fact that from that moment forth, though it sounds dramatic, my life wouldn't ever be the same. I know that the solution sounds simple:stop eating wheat. but trust me it is much more difficult than that. even if you are extremely careful to never eat wheat EVER there is still the chance of cross contamination, which happens...a lot. for instance i have to use my own personal toaster to toast my bread so that i don't ever get wheat crumbs on my rice bread. and it gets even nittier and grittier than that. Now from the get go i've tried to stay positive about it because the truth is, its not going anywhere, and its not going to get better. Unless by some act of God i am healed, i will have celiac for the rest of my life, and complaining isn't going to give me anything except a bad attitude, plus i've had the blessing of seeing my mom handle the same disease, so i'm not a total newb.
Enough explanation, lets get to the point:
I assumed that since i knew the problem and knew how to handle it, it would just get better and i'd be back in tip top shape in no time. here's the problem though, it didn't get better, health wise its only gotten worse because someone i keep getting cross contaminated and so my body has never gotten to heal.
Side note about myself: i am a fixer. when i see i problem i like to find the solution and get the job done so that things go back to working order as quickly and effectively as possible. I think that area of my life is one that can often be covered in pride and my desire for control, which is why i think that God has allowed me to deal with injuries and health issues.
You see i had a meltdown the other day because after many doctors visits, procedures, and even 2 visits to the ER, the problem is still there and it turns out that my sensitivity to gluten is a little bit more intense than i thought. I had said meltdown because i realized that this problem isn't just going to heal up and go away, or even become easy. i'm stuck with it, and there's no forgetting it. i cannot simply put a cast on it, wait 6 weeks and go back to normal. its here and the truth is its really hard. i don't know what to do sometimes and the greatest struggle with it is often too hard to express, this difficulty stems from the fact that its deeper than just a disease. it cuts straight to my pride. if i'm being honest its embarrassing. its hard because it's another thing that makes me different. its hard because it means that i have to do something that i'm not good at, i have to be observant. i have to plan. i have to prepare. i have to constantly be aware of what i'm eating. more than anything though i had a meltdown because i came to realize that for the past 6 months i have been missing out on the lesson that i truly think God is trying to teach me: PERSEVERANCE. Celiac is the perfect opportunity for God to show me, on a very basic, concrete level, that i can't fix everything...that a doctor can't fix everything. there's not always a simple answer or a magic wand. sometimes the only answer is to just keep walking, knowing that He is laying the next stone for me to step on. He's asking me to step when i really can't see what's ahead, even though i have no control and no clue what to do, He is asking me to press on through the pain and uncertainty, knowing that the end result will be much more beautiful than these Earthly woes. He is asking me to persevere. this concept is extremely difficult for me and something that God has been teaching me for years and i'm sure will be teaching me for years to come. in the midst of the chaos though i am reminded of His faithfulness to turn the painful into the beautiful. the fact that His love and mercy doesn't let me get away with what my sinful nature desires but instead goes to the ends of the earth, even to the end of my personal comfort, to teach me more about Himself. That blows my mind. its incredible to think that Jesus will literally use whatever means necessary to teach us what it looks like to look like Himself. I serve an awesome God. it is not in celiac that i take joy, it is in the God who turns disease into life, that i find joy. thats crazy, through a disease that brings pain and harm to my earthly body, God is bringing life and health and wholeness to my spirit. now that is what is beautiful. that is what is joyful. that is what Christ is all about.
my prayer is that God continue His push to teach me to persevere, because my heart's prayer is that someday He have greater perseverance, for His namesake, in store for me. and how can i expect to persevere then, if i can't even persevere now, when i have every amenity and comfort i could ever ask for.
Thank God that my physical pain can be a testimony to the greatness of our Lord and Savior.
He truly makes everything glorious.
-abbie
*disclaimer: this is not a plea for pity, trust me, i hate pity. I praise God that it's not worse because it could be so so so much worse and i daily thank God for my health. this is all simply to show how God has been working through a difficult situation/adjustment/life-change. i use the term "disease", simply because it technically is, but on the scale of 1 to cancer, i'd say celiac falls pretty low. i am blessed to be in the state of health that i am, its more than this sinful skin deserves.
Ever since i was in the 8th grade i have had stomach issues, for the most part they amounted to nothing more than daily stomach aches that we chalked up to stress and anxiety, but nonetheless they have persisted for the past 6 or 7 years. well, over the course of this past summer, which was spent joyfully at New Life Ranch, my stomach aches became worse and more frequent...aka every moment of every day. at the end of the summer i was itching to figure out what the problem was so i went to see my doctor and had some blood work done and lo and behold(on the morning of my 20th birthday) i was kindly informed that i have Celiac Disease. For those who aren't familiar with Celiac it is a genetic autoimmune disease. It basically means that my body cannot process gluten, which is a protein found in all forms of wheat, barley, rye, and triticale. And therefore i get sick when i eat gluten/wheat. this resulted in a very fast lifestyle change and honestly i never took a second to step back and process the fact that from that moment forth, though it sounds dramatic, my life wouldn't ever be the same. I know that the solution sounds simple:stop eating wheat. but trust me it is much more difficult than that. even if you are extremely careful to never eat wheat EVER there is still the chance of cross contamination, which happens...a lot. for instance i have to use my own personal toaster to toast my bread so that i don't ever get wheat crumbs on my rice bread. and it gets even nittier and grittier than that. Now from the get go i've tried to stay positive about it because the truth is, its not going anywhere, and its not going to get better. Unless by some act of God i am healed, i will have celiac for the rest of my life, and complaining isn't going to give me anything except a bad attitude, plus i've had the blessing of seeing my mom handle the same disease, so i'm not a total newb.
Enough explanation, lets get to the point:
I assumed that since i knew the problem and knew how to handle it, it would just get better and i'd be back in tip top shape in no time. here's the problem though, it didn't get better, health wise its only gotten worse because someone i keep getting cross contaminated and so my body has never gotten to heal.
Side note about myself: i am a fixer. when i see i problem i like to find the solution and get the job done so that things go back to working order as quickly and effectively as possible. I think that area of my life is one that can often be covered in pride and my desire for control, which is why i think that God has allowed me to deal with injuries and health issues.
You see i had a meltdown the other day because after many doctors visits, procedures, and even 2 visits to the ER, the problem is still there and it turns out that my sensitivity to gluten is a little bit more intense than i thought. I had said meltdown because i realized that this problem isn't just going to heal up and go away, or even become easy. i'm stuck with it, and there's no forgetting it. i cannot simply put a cast on it, wait 6 weeks and go back to normal. its here and the truth is its really hard. i don't know what to do sometimes and the greatest struggle with it is often too hard to express, this difficulty stems from the fact that its deeper than just a disease. it cuts straight to my pride. if i'm being honest its embarrassing. its hard because it's another thing that makes me different. its hard because it means that i have to do something that i'm not good at, i have to be observant. i have to plan. i have to prepare. i have to constantly be aware of what i'm eating. more than anything though i had a meltdown because i came to realize that for the past 6 months i have been missing out on the lesson that i truly think God is trying to teach me: PERSEVERANCE. Celiac is the perfect opportunity for God to show me, on a very basic, concrete level, that i can't fix everything...that a doctor can't fix everything. there's not always a simple answer or a magic wand. sometimes the only answer is to just keep walking, knowing that He is laying the next stone for me to step on. He's asking me to step when i really can't see what's ahead, even though i have no control and no clue what to do, He is asking me to press on through the pain and uncertainty, knowing that the end result will be much more beautiful than these Earthly woes. He is asking me to persevere. this concept is extremely difficult for me and something that God has been teaching me for years and i'm sure will be teaching me for years to come. in the midst of the chaos though i am reminded of His faithfulness to turn the painful into the beautiful. the fact that His love and mercy doesn't let me get away with what my sinful nature desires but instead goes to the ends of the earth, even to the end of my personal comfort, to teach me more about Himself. That blows my mind. its incredible to think that Jesus will literally use whatever means necessary to teach us what it looks like to look like Himself. I serve an awesome God. it is not in celiac that i take joy, it is in the God who turns disease into life, that i find joy. thats crazy, through a disease that brings pain and harm to my earthly body, God is bringing life and health and wholeness to my spirit. now that is what is beautiful. that is what is joyful. that is what Christ is all about.
my prayer is that God continue His push to teach me to persevere, because my heart's prayer is that someday He have greater perseverance, for His namesake, in store for me. and how can i expect to persevere then, if i can't even persevere now, when i have every amenity and comfort i could ever ask for.
Thank God that my physical pain can be a testimony to the greatness of our Lord and Savior.
He truly makes everything glorious.
-abbie
*disclaimer: this is not a plea for pity, trust me, i hate pity. I praise God that it's not worse because it could be so so so much worse and i daily thank God for my health. this is all simply to show how God has been working through a difficult situation/adjustment/life-change. i use the term "disease", simply because it technically is, but on the scale of 1 to cancer, i'd say celiac falls pretty low. i am blessed to be in the state of health that i am, its more than this sinful skin deserves.
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