on the one hand it is a beautiful idea, one day out of the year that people are supposed to think about all of the blessings in their lives...well at least until 9pm, when we start throwing elbows in Target to get our hands on a season of Glee for $13. But for at least 12 hours, we are thankful.
on the other hand, thanksgiving makes me kind of sad. especially this thanksgiving.
you see, 6 months ago one of my best friends, and honestly the funniest girl i know, lost her mother to cancer. the truth is that it's hard to say much about that time, Roxanne was and is an incredible woman, she loved the Lord with a passion that was contagious. she cared for the heart of every single person that she met, not because she was such a people person, but because she loved Jesus and that love flowed out of her so beautifully and freely. Everyone who met Roxy loved her, especially me. she is an inspiration. she was a perfect model of what it looks like to live your life with little regard to yourself, all for the glory of Jesus. not only did she leave a legacy through her impact on my life, and the lives of those who love her, but she left a legacy through her children, Travis, Bobby, and Tiffany. These three are incredible and watching them trust the Lord through such a painful and confusing time has done nothing but strengthen my faith and deepen my trust. But man is she ever missed. The struggle deepens when you stop and think about how Tiffany and the rest of the Clement/Pennington family is not the only family going through this kind of loss this thanksgiving...or any thanksgiving for that matter.
The thing about thanksgiving is that we are supposed to be thankful for what we have, but what about the times when thanksgiving comes and we don't feel very thankful?
The truth is that there are many truths.
First off, the truth is that we are all hurting. we have all loved and lost and cried and begged and forgotten and remembered and wished that everything was the way it used to be. sometimes 365 days is just enough time to change everything. and sometimes i think that pain might be too much for us to get past. we are broken. we are disappointed. we are hurting. we are tired. we are confused. we are everything but truly thankful.
Secondly, the truth is we all have cause to be thankful. you're thinking "yea. i know, we're all blessed to have homes and food and black friday." but i don't think we really understand gratefulness.
we don't get it. i don't get it.
this brings me to my final truth.
we are all called to "consider it pure joy my brothers when we face trials of various kinds, for the testing of your faith produces perseverance" and why are we called to persevere? because when we let "perseverance finish its work that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing"(John 1:2-4)
you see, the thing is that thanksgiving isn't about sitting around a table with your napkin in your lap, telling the extended family that you're thankful for the straight A's you got, or your new puppy. None of that matters in the long run anyway. the truth is that i think thanksgiving is all about tears of joy and tears of pain. it's about looking at the last 365 days and realizing that a lot of them were great and a lot of them were awful, but most of them were just days. its about counting up the good days and the not so good days and then thanking God that He let you see the sunrise and set on each of them. I don't think that God wants half hearted thankfulness that we offer because a story book tells us that a bunch of pilgrims and indians did it hundreds of years ago...and for the record, the pilgrims and indians had crappy lives. we have lost sight of how we should be thankful to be given the great privilege and responsibility of living this one wild and beautiful life.
so cry on thanksgiving. cry because you've had 365 days of joy and pain and fear and struggle and laughs and memories and loss and gain and more than anything you've had 365 days of life. and that my friends is reason enough to be thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving friends...eat some turkey, watch some football, and then go and stiff arm a soccer mom to get your hands on a 10 dollar memory foam bathmat. go buck wild folks. it only happens once a year.
be grateful.
christmas is in 34 days.
-Abbie.
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